I’ve had my share of bad relationships. Trust me. It is entirely possible for you, me, and everyone else to enter a potentially bad relationship even if the warning signs are all there. You have hope for the future, and who knows…the guy could change, right?
However, staying in a bad relationship is a different story. Once you realize that you are in a relationship that causes you to be depressed, hurt, sad, or any other negative emotion, and it isn’t changing, then it is time to hit the road and remove the relationship from your life.
Reasons For Staying
There are a number of reasons that people stay in bad relationships.
1. Kids – Like Dr. Phil always says, kids would rather be from a broken family then live in a broken home. If you are staying in the relationship because you don’t want the kids to see you and your partner break up, then that is purely selfish – it’s not helping the kids out.
They see the sadness in you, and that affects them whether you think it does or not. It would be much better to be separated so that you can model a happy and healthy life for them.
2. Enjoy being a victim – There is a thing called a victim mentality. We all know people like this. They enjoy complaining, whining and bitching about things because they get sympathy from people while doing so. When you don’t give them sympathy, they simply stop talking to you and look elsewhere for sympathy. A bad relationship feeds into a victims mentality and they stay simply because they tell themselves that ‘they don’t deserve any better’!
These people need to realize that being acknowledged for positive things – such as accomplishments and kindness, is much more rewarding than being acknowledged for being a victim. They need to realize that they are worth something and when they stop complaining about their bad relationship and start doing something about it, the rewards will be much bigger than they ever imagined.
3. Low self-confidence – I could list off a bunch of women that have stayed in relationships because they didn’t have the confidence in themselves to leave. They didn’t think they could make it; they didn’t think that they could survive; they didn’t think that life would be ‘as good’ as it was outside of the relationship as it was inside.
Most of those women are STILL in those bad relationships and their confidence is still in the gutter. However, one woman (a close friend of mine) said, “You know what…I’m outta here.” She had a jerk husband, three kids, no job, no family in town, and a Christian church telling her that she HAD to stay in her bad relationship, but she still took her own happiness into her hands and left the bad relationship she was in. Today, she is remarried and happy.
Why Are You Staying In a Bad Relationship?
So, there are some real reasons that you stay (not the things you tell yourself, but the REAL reasons).
1. You want to stay miserable.
2. You don’t want happiness.
3. You want to waste time in your life waiting for things to get better.
4. You feel like you don’t deserve any better.
These are the real reasons, and they are all a bunch of crap.
You deserve all the happiness in the world in every moment of the day. But happiness comes to those who take it.
Think of it this way: If you are staying in a bad relationship, that makes you feel unhappy, then you are choosing to be unhappy.
Choose to find happiness instead. You don’t want to look back 30 years from now and regret not making that choice.